Reader,

One of my most popular trainings I host with corporate companies is called "high-potential leaders" training. People who participate are usually very ambitious and have high-leadership potential. This training, which I often lead, helps them get promoted to the next level.

The first question I usually ask is to have them think of their best boss and then name the top three reasons why.

For you, who was your favorite boss and why?

Over the years, I've discovered a similar pattern in answers: their favorite boss made them feel trusted, listened to, understood.

It wasn't technical smarts or IQ. It was their manager's interpersonal skills!

Would you agree?

Research by organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich backs this up. She found approximately 85% of the reasons people choose someone as their best boss related to Interpersonal Skills. The remaining 15% was split between IQ and Technical and Functional Skills.

If you're managing people, here's how you can apply this to be the kind of boss people admire and respect:

1. Tell people what you mean, not just what you said. If there's any chance your feedback could land as criticism, or your decision could read as distrust, don't leave that to interpretation. Say the quiet part out loud: "I'm pushing you here because I know what you're capable of." Naming your intent doesn't make you sound soft. It closes the gap between what you meant and what actually landed, and that gap is where most workplace resentment quietly builds.
2. Build relationships based on understanding and trust. The best managers don't wait for a formal review to communicate honestly. They build in small, low-stakes check-ins along the way, something as simple as "how did that go for you?" or "is there anything I should have said differently?" It feels vulnerable the first few times, but it's a powerful way to build understanding and trust.
3. Remember that good intentions and being understood are two different things. This is the one I remind myself of constantly. Meaning well doesn't automatically translate, and it's not other people's job to assume the best about you. If your impact and your intent don't match, people only ever get to experience the impact. Which means a genuinely great decision, poorly explained, still lands as a bad one.

Here's the thing: most managers aren't failing because they don't care. They might give off the wrong impression because they assume their good intentions are obvious, and they're not.

You can be pushing someone hard because you believe in them, and they can experience that same behavior as pressure or distrust, and neither of you would be wrong. You're just working off different information, and nobody said so out loud.

So if you want to become the kind of boss people still talk about years later, start with open communication. Because people don't remember their favorite boss for what that person knew. They remember how clearly that person made them feel seen, and that's something you build through how you communicate.

If you want to elevate how you can be the kind of boss people think of as a fantastic communicator, check out this new YouTube video where I go deeper. You can watch it here:

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Don't forget to like and subscribe so you never miss a new video. Enjoy!

Until next week!
Jessica Chen

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